Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Things I Thought While Getting a Deep Tissue Massage

1) Am I supposed to get like naked naked?

2) Oooh, this massage table has an electric warmer. Toasty.

3) You know, I popped a breath mint before we started, why didn't she?

4) Is that muscle supposed to crunch like that?

5) Why does every massage therapist play the same music they play in Chinese restaurants? How is that relaxing?

6) I'm really glad she finds the music and dim lights relaxing but if she yawns in my face on more time, I might involuntarily punch her.

7) I really don't think that muscle is supposed to crunch like that.

8) She really should get a pedicure. She works in a salon/spa, how hard could it be to keep your toes polished?

9) If she runs into the corner to cough into her arm one more time, I'm leaving.

10) This hurts like hell. I'm paying this woman a hundred bucks to beat the shit out of me. Clearly, I'm an idiot.


  1. Ahhh....the fine art of relaxation.


    Those table warmers are the best, are they not?!

  2. Yup. The first time can be a bit of a shock.

    A breath mint would have been the polite thing to do. ;)


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