Monday, February 15, 2010

It's a Sickness, Really

I seriously despise clutter. I know that there are those that love "stuff" and feel soothed by having everything they've ever owned within an arm's reach. I am not one of those people. When I cleaned out our garage last summer, the sum total of my 31 years fit neatly into one smallish sized Rubbermaid bin. (My husband on the other hand, required two large sized bins and that's only because that's all I would allow. We actually got into a fight over his old high school wrestling singlet. Like he was ever again going to squeeze into the damn thing and put someone in a full nelson, but I digress.)

Anyway, as evidence of my distaste for all things clutterous, I give you the barren landscape of my kitchen counters:

As you can see, there are only two things that live on my countertop. One (the knife block) is utilitarian, because I actually need to use knives now and again. The other (an antique wooden box with drawers) belonged to my mother-in-law, an avid collector of old stuff antiques. She passed away five years ago this past January, and it's nice to have a few things around the house to remember her by (although we shall never make mention of the old chamber pot that we also inherited, which looked lovely in her living room, but lives in a closet here at our house).

Anyway, back to my clutter diversion. When we put our house on the market last year, it took me exactly five minutes to "stage" our home for showings and said "staging" involved getting rid of some refrigerator magnets and putting away a couple old old family photos. I've been known to "accidentally" get rid of things around the house that people were "still using", like the time I threw out my husband's school report card collection. He was none to pleased, but did he really need to have a written record of the fact that he won the Good Citizenship award in second grade? He would surely disagree but I, on the otherhand, think not. I'm also one of those annoying people that's picking your glass up and putting it in the sink while you're still drinking out of it.

The one exception to my fervent desire to make our home a confirmed NO CLUTTER zone is this:

Just what is that, you ask? Well, I'll tell you. That is every spare electrical cord, adapter, charger, etcetera that has ever made it's way past my doorstep. The bin contains not one, not two, but THREE telephones (two cordless, one old school Conair phone), an old video camera and every other electrical cord and charger known to man. I really don't know why I can't get rid of them, but I just can't. Look, I know it's crazy. I know, okay - you don't have to laugh like that.

But, consider this, my friends. What if one day someone...let's say, Brad Pitt (this is will be after he kicks that skanky hobag Angelina to the curb, of course) comes knocking on my door and he is in desperate need of a charger for his circa 1996 Motorola flip phone? I'll totally be the one laughing then you guys, I just know it.


  1. I bow to your awesomeness. I even made it a resolution this year to get rid of clutter and publicly used the word "vow" on my blog. I am an utter and complete failure. My personal Satan? Paper. Mail, receipts, files, you name it. It has bested me. I'm so ashamed...

  2. I am laughing over this. My husband saves EVERYTHING. The good news is now that he has a new place in DC, I made him take most of it back there!

  3. My garage is crying out for your intervention, that and the attic, and my dining room buffet, the hall closet, the guest closet, oh hell, can you come over and save us from ourselves?

  4. LOL!!! I clear the clutter left by a five eayr old every.single.night. my worst enemy? leggos!

  5. Lol at least you are prepared for everything. I have a lot of chargers too lol.

  6. My husband has a whole closet full of those gizmos. It is like his collection.

    A+ on you decluttering efforts.

  7. Oh I am so with you. I HATE CLUTTER! Alas, I live in a home with three children all under five, a stuff-lovin' hubby and an 80 pound lab. We've got clutter. It drives me insane.

    I talk of visual peace and everyone looks at me like I am crazy. So glad I'm not the only one!

    Stopping by from SITS!

  8. My husband would LOVE you (and the uber neat and clean kitchen you have) His fav day is Dump Day. He delights in throwing out clutter.

    Now, I am not a pack rat by any scope of the imagination (unlike my parents) BUT i find it SO hard to get rid of things at times...

    I have to say that basket of old electronics is just..weird ;) Brad Pitt would never have an old school Motorola flip so feel free to toss that LOL

    Visiting from SITS

  9. Oh pleeeeeaaassseee come to my house and kick me into shape. I am surrounded by the mountains of clutter. Your counter tops have me hanging my head in shame!

    I will not laugh at your electronic collection. Cause, well, you just never know.

  10. You rock! I hate clutter, too. That lone basket of stuff is nothing---you guys are awesome!

  11. We have clutter everywhere thanks to small base housing. I really wish they'd have bigger homes.

    Your kitchen is so nice and clean!

  12. Stopping by from Lee's. My hubby collects everything too. Drives me nuts.

  13. I am a saver! I save everything- your husband and I might have some of the same HS collections. However, we have a HUGE basement, and I use it to VERY neatly store all my "treasures" and they are labeled in bins. My husband is like you- Saves NOTHING. I actually have a bin just like the one you have above...The electronic bin! :) But, EVEN I Just tossed the REALLY old cell phone cords though! :) good luck!

    new follower from Lee!

  14. Love this blog! I save a LOT, ok too much. But, I like it my organized clutter. My husband actually told me this morning that soon I will need a basket to hold all of my baskets. =)

    BTW I love your kitchen... That is how I like my counter-tops too. Nice and empty.

  15. Could you come de-clutter my house? My family (me excluded) is a bunch of slobs. also, I heard that Brad IS kicking that skanky ho-bag to the curb (I cannot STAND Angelina). Blech.

  16. I hate clutter, too! But my husband and kids are packrats. So I'm fighting a losing battle.


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