Random Friday Thoughts

1 - The other night, Lily and I were hanging out in a Chinese takeout place waiting for our food. After we'd been waiting a few minutes, a fairly unassuming guy walked in and sat down at a table right behind us. Apparently I looked like I was in a talkative mood, because he immediately started chatting me up. He was slurring his words pretty badly, so I looked back and realized that he was totally wasted out of his mind. He started slurring to me about his newborn preemie daughter and when I looked back to ask him her name, he was chugging from a tiny bottle of Jaegermeister. Nice. The daughter's name? Star Destiny. I'm pretty sure he picked that name after one too many shots of Jaeger, but that's just a guess. I mumbled something like "Oh, that's nice" while the bitch in my head thought "Well, she's all set for a career in the pornographic arts." Poor kid.

2 - Who saw the Men's Figure Skating final on the Olympcs last night? If you didn't, Evan Lysacek totally rocked the house and won the gold medal. Today, silver medalist Yevgeny Plushenko is talking trash about Lysacek, saying he shouldn't have won because he didn't do any quadruple jumps. Whatever douchebag, you lost, suck it up and quit being a crybaby. Also, cram it in your cramhole.

3 - Speaking of Evan Lysacek, on the final spin of his excellent performance, one section of his hair broke free from his gel helmet and was sticking up all Ed Grimley like. It was a long spin too. I just kept thinking that the poor guy is going to have to witness his bad hair moment every time he wants to relive his triumph. Of course, then he'll remember that assbag Yevgeny Plushenko still rocks a mullet, so nobody's having as bad a hair day as he does Every. Single. Day. And then he'll look at his sweet gold medal and feel even better. And then he'll get into his Ferrari that he bought with all of his piles of endorsement cash and he'll feel even better still.

4 - This morning as I was getting ready for work, I was watching the local news and saw a story about a driver that ran their SUV right into a house last night. The house is vacant, so thankfully nobody was hurt. The driver was nowhere to be found when the police arrived and I'm thinking it's a good possibility that the driver was drunk. Drunk people always seem to walk away uninjured from accidents like this, they are surprisingly bendy. Well, here's the thing stupid and possibly drunk SUV driver! They have these newfangled things called license plates which can lead the police right to you! I know, crazy right? I never would have thought of that either! Too bad for you, dumbass.

5 - This weekend promises to be a nice mix of activity and relaxation for Casa de Chick. Tonight, Violet is going to a school dance and I'm going to try to not remember the things I did at school dances. Tomorrow, I'm running in a 5K race to celebrate Thomas Edison and the invention of the light bulb, because hey, why the heck not? I'm hoping my wonky knee holds out. Sunday is brunch with some family that's visiting from up north. Hmm, maybe I won't be relaxing quite as much as I thought. What are you doing this weekend? While you're at it, celebrate some light bulbs. All the cool kids are doing it.

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