Exhibit A - Crack is Whack: This morning, I had to take Violet to the orthodontist. The waiting area has a row of seats along one wall, and a bench seat in front of the wall seats. When we arrived at the office it was fairly empty, so I took a seat against the wall. Shortly thereafter, a woman arrived and sat in front of me on one of the bench seats. Unfortunately for her, the poor lady's butt crack was on full display as soon as she sat down. She wasn't wearing pants that were particularly low waisted, so I was quite perplexed. Nonetheless, said crack remained on display for the entire 45 minutes I sat waiting for Violet to finish her appointment. What perplexes me is how someone could sit with their crack hanging out for 45+ minutes and have no idea. The office was quite cold, so don't you think you would feel a breeze or a chill of some sort?
Exhibit B - Jenny from the Block: During the same orthodontist visit, in my haste to find something to look at that didn't involve someone else's rear end, I spied a People Magazine with a smiling Jennifer Lopez on the cover. The cover proclaimed that Jennifer was saying to the world "I have no regrets!" Sub-headline: "The star on life, men and marriage." Methinks it a little strange that after a highly publicized broken engagement and three divorces, that Ms. Lopez has zero regrets in life. I'm not saying that it's not okay to have that many failed attempts at matrimony, who am I to judge? I just think it's somewhat disingenuous to say that you regret nothing at all, especially when children are involved. But really, at the very least, she must regret Gigli a little, right?
Exhibit C: Thought Leaders Thinking Thoughts: In the past few weeks, my LinkedIn account has been yelling at me to make sure I subscribe to the 'thought leaders' in my industry. I presume they think that I don't miss any of their 'thought leadership thinking thoughts'. Now, the process of identifying someone as a 'thought leader' has never really seemed very scientific to me. I once worked for a corporation who proclaimed themselves a thought leader, just because they felt like it. Nobody argued with them about whether they actually were a 'thought leader' or not, so if it's as easy as that, I hereby proclaim myself a thought leader on cheese fries and belly buttons. Subscribe now to hear all my riveting thought leader thinking thoughts on both exciting topics and next week, I'll have a tutorial on knitting a scarf from belly button lint while eating cheese fries. It's going to be brilliant.