I have a really good memory. Like, really really good. Unfortunately, I mostly remember useless junk. Like what I was wearing the first time I rode a roller coaster when I was six (white romper with pastel stripes). Or what the next three numbers of Pi are after 3.14 (159). I can throw down on some Trivial Pursuit, yo. Useless knowledge, I have it in spades.
So a few weeks ago, I decided to see if I could remember the names of every one of my elementary school teachers. Turns out, I can and I actually have specific and vivid memories of each and every one. Isn't that kind of weird?
Kindergarten - Mrs. Stalker: I remember she was an older matronly type and on St. Patrick's day, she made us believe that she caught a leprechaun in a bag but it popped it and got away. That night I searched my house up and down for another leprechaun, but alas, never found one.
First Grade - Mrs. Smith: I remember two things about Mrs. Smith - 1) She was a finalist for a spot on the Challenger space shuttle that eventually went to Christa McAuliffe and 2) my class had a set of identical twins and one of them puked on her feet one day during story time. All she said was "Oh my!" when she had to be thinking "OMFG, gross!" because I don't remember her having any kids at the time.
Second Grade - Mrs. Wolford/Mrs. Shipman: I had two teachers this year because we moved and I changed schools mid-year. I remember Mrs. Wolford grabbed me by neck one day when I didn't erase the board after she told me to. I was very upset because 1) I didn't hear her ask me to do it and 2) Hello! She grabbed my neck. Methinks such antics would not fly today. I actually had Mrs. Wolford again years later for seventh grade math and she was out of school for a long time that year after she broke her leg slipping on some ice. Karma, man.
Mrs. Shipman had really thick glasses that made her eyes look huge. But, she was super nice and gave me a hug at the end of the year, my first teacher that ever did that. Clearly, that was in improvement over the neck-grabbing from Mrs. Wolford.
Third Grade - Mrs. Winslow: I loved, loved, loved Mrs. Winslow. She was and older grandmotherly type and was the third grade teacher that EVERYONE wanted to have. She used to give us salted unshelled peanuts instead of candy as rewards for right answers, etc. I actually loved her so much that we were pen pals for a while after I 'graduated' from her class.
Fourth Grade - Mrs. Ketterman: Mrs. Ketterman was kind of old and grumpy. I remember learning multiplication tables in her class and her timing us by slapping herself on the leg to count out the seconds.
Fifth Grade - Mrs. Cutsinger: This was another pretty grumpy teacher. She had a big wart on her nose and finger so when she would get mad and point at you to emphasize, you never knew where to look. She took a liking to me though after discovering that we both had dogs at the time that were named Stubby.
Sixth Grade - Mr. Geha: Mr. Geha was a single man in his forties who lived with his mother. He called us 'folks' a lot. He taught us about the US government by holding student council elections and after winning the position of class Vice President, I realized that Vice Presidents really don't do anything but sit there and try to look official.
See what I mean? Who remembers that kind of stuff? Apparently, I do. Who wants to play Trivial Pursuit?